Sunday, April 29, 2012

Moving Heaven and Earth

As I write this blog entry, I am overwhelmed at two things.  One is how great God is in His provision, power, love and ability to surprise the socks off me.  The other is how I often forget that His plan and provision and love is sufficient.  It seems I never will learn that lesson, yet He continues to bless me beyond measure.

About a month ago, I was at our regional music therapy conference with some friends and students.  My friend and I were talking and it came up that my apartment lease was up in June and that I needed to remember to renew it.  My friend mentioned that she was interested in renting out her house so that she could move closer to work and stop commuting.  She really loved the house and wanted to keep it but would have to rent it out to be able to keep it while also renting herself.  So I told her I would come look at it, but at that point I was kind of thinking I wasn't that interested.  Little did I know that God was working out something that I was yet unaware of.

My friend had to leave the conference early due to her grandmother's illness and eventual passing (please continue to pray for her and her family).  I came back home and resumed my routine.  We talked several times over the next couple of weeks...about losing someone so special, about life, about TV shows, about other routine things.  And I kind of forgot about the house.  But then she asked me to come look at it.  So I did.  And I fell in love with it!  It was more than I could ever imagine I would want in a house and the rent was cheaper than what I was currently paying.  I asked all the questions about cost of electricity, insurance and everything else I needed to know.  And the other bonus is that the set up of the house is perfect for starting a private music therapy practice...complete with a room I can use as my office/session room and doors to shut off the rest of the house when clients are there.  I went home and began praying that God would give me guidance as whether or not to rent the house.  I knew I wanted it, but I also knew that I wanted to look at it realistically and not rush into something based on feeling.

I called my dad, and he was excited about it and also began praying about it.  Over the next week, God began to show me in the strangest and most exciting ways that this was something He had been working out for me.  Things from money to issues at my apartment to finding out that my college roommate has family that lives right down the street to friends who are willing to help me move.  The other issue we had to pray about was that my friend would find a house to live in where she worked.  So we did.  And she has received a very promising lead that will hopefully pan out this week (please be praying).  

Some may think that this is no big deal...I'm just renting a house.  But I see so much more!  I see how before I even knew it, God was working out something that was so much better for me than I had planned.  See, my plan was to just rent an apartment until I finished grad school and then see where life took me.  I knew that I wanted to stay in this area and that I would eventually want a house.  And I've been ok in the apartment...but it has never felt like home.  I feel like I'm in a dorm.  And though I never really voiced that until now, the Lord knew that and began planning something better.  Somewhere I could feel like I was home and could entertain and cook and sit in my backyard and see music therapy clients.  I see now that God has been in the details even before I knew I wanted a house.

I have just been overwhelmed this week at how good God is.  Life has been tough these last few years, and there have been times I wanted to give up, times I've been upset with God, times I've doubted.  But over and over, God shows His love and provision in ways I cannot even imagine...even in the midst of pain and sorrow and heartache.  And I'm trying to learn this lesson.  And at times I feel like a spoiled child who just isn't satisfied.  I know God has blessed me beyond what I deserve, but there are still a couple of desires I have in my heart that I wish He would provide.  Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful...beyond what I can express.  But I still long for those things.

However, God has used this past week and this situation with this house to show me in a very concrete way that His plans for my life far outweigh any I could have for my life.  That doesn't mean I don't have days where I still doubt or wonder.  Last night, I had a conversation with a couple other of my single friends wondering where the godly men were and why God hadn't brought them to us yet.  And then I watched Courageous (if you haven't seen this movie, do it!) this morning and found myself again wondering where men with that kind of integrity and faith and compassion are or, if they are out there, why aren't they interested in me.  I know they must be out there somewhere, but I still question why God hasn't blessed me with the one He has for me yet.  But I know He has his reasons.  I know His plans are higher and better than my own.  I know that my God has something wonderful in store for me.  

And if this past week is any indication, I know that when He does provide this desire of my heart, He is going to blow me away with how He does it.  So I rest in Him, "expectantly hopeful" that He is, even right now, working on my behalf, willing to move heaven and earth to provide and show me how much He loves me.  I am so thankful...thankful for parents who raised me to have faith in such an amazing God, who demonstrated in front of me what a Christian marriage should be and who loved me in such a way as to be a true example of God's love for me.  

So I'm waiting expectantly, knowing that if God is willing to give me things I didn't even know I wanted in such an amazing way, He will also provide the desires of my heart...  But until then, "I'll run into Your arms, the riches of Your love will always be enough..."

PS:  This is the final scene from Courageous...and this is the kind of man I am asking God to send my way.

1 comment:

Lindsay said...

Hey Lori,
I just found you via twitter. I am a music therapy student (at the University of Iowa), and a Christian as well. I was so blessed to read your blog and love the way that you can't stop talking about what God's been doing in your life. Such an encouragement! Thanks for sharing and being open. Would love to stay in touch, even if it's just through the world wide web. :) Feel free to read my blog at I also saw on your profile that you lost your mom. I am sorry to hear that! I also lost my mom (I actually recently posted about it) about ten years ago to cancer. Anyway, this comment is getting long. I hope you have a blessed week!